Miya, 22 — Al Barsha

Hello. I'm Miya, and today I'm in the mood of someone who went to the mall for one thing and came back with six things and not the one thing. European, 22, living in Al Barsha, which means Mall of the Emirates is close enough to be a problem. I'm 160 cm and 45 kg, so I'm small, but I have strong opinions about queues, slow walkers and people who say they're five minutes away when they haven't left the house. My place in Al Barsha is open to visitors. It's clean, quiet, and the neighbours are the kind who nod and mind their own business, which I appreciate more than anything. Or I can go to yours, hotel or apartment, I'm good with taxis and better with directions than most taxi drivers. I like dry humour, obviously. I also like men who are calm, who don't treat a first message like a job interview, and who can laugh at themselves. If you need me to be impressed by your car, I'm the wrong choice. I know nothing about cars and I intend to keep it that way. Evenings in Barsha are underrated. The heat drops, everyone goes for shawarma at the same time, and the whole street smells of garlic sauce. I consider that a feature. So write to me. Tell me something true and something funny, and I'll decide which one I believe.